I've been kinda sad the past few days...okay, that's a damn lie... past week I've been felling so damn depressed, but... just like I always do, I put on a fake smile untill I can take no more and go cry like the little emo kid i am... *sigh* things are geting to so damn worse... and..i dont know who to go to anymore..im so damn lost..i dont know who im becoming anymore..im starting to give up so much... im giving up so much... im so lost... and the fucked up part is...im ganna go on acting as nothing, and ewveryone that knows me is ganna walk up to me, tell me whats wrong and crap and im going to smile and fake everything and say everythign perfectly fine, im over it *sigh* ...

its weird..after what happened a whille back...i guess my trust on people and humanity went from 30% down to 3%...but sadly with what the fuck been going on its gone to 1% *sigh*

and it sucks..every painfull memory been rushing back to my mind the same time all this crazy shit been going on..and it taking a damn toll to my body...

i cant trust the one guy i can very well..and right now i need him badly... i cant talk to some friends cause iv notice there not themselfs either... its like, also it feels like everyone just drifting away...

also im to damn sad to talk to a friend who need me too... and now he might be dead... and that..that killed me... my heart and body are in this weird pain that i cant discribe... i want to cut all the damn pain out..but..i made a promise..but..i might not be able to keep it..
i hope Fanime can take my mind off some things

i really just wanna crawl into a ball and lay in some rain... sometimes i wish my brother was alive... maybe he be the only one that can comfert me when im life this..maybe he be the only family that would really care for me and change me for me and not for what ever reason he needs..but..his not..his dead...and ill never know...

i hope your doing will baby brother...